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courtsey www.google.comDangerous is a woman who is aware of her powers and femininity and what all she can do with it.
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The manakin dance
Face of fear- Strangers in the night
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| Death doesn't haunts me...what's gone does. |
Her sleep was interrupted by a phone call being made in her
parent’s room…she got up sleepily walked in to the other room…looked at her
father and her mother and the man making the phone call, but her mind
registered nothing. She walked back into her room like a zombie and slept.
“Ishi utho bhi, tuitions nai jaana kya?” hearing her mother
shout, she woke up with a start. ‘Thank God it was just a bad dream’, she
thought.
Outside the window the world was still dark. Has to be it
was quarter to five in the morning. She rubbed her eyes and took few minutes to
adjust to the conscious state. She looked at her little sister sleeping beside
her. She, at times, creeps into her bed. She smiled at the usual scene, except
something was wrong, incredibly wrong. The house was silent like a grave. She could
hear the tick tock of the clock and it felt eerie. She got up slowly like she
is in a haunted house. Her each step felt like some loose wood plank will make
a creepy sound and she will have a heart attack right then. She peeped into her
parent’s room and saw her father sleeping alone.
‘Of course, mom is always in the kitchen by this time’; she
walked to the kitchen only to find it empty. ‘Might be in the bathroom’, but
she wasn’t there either.
Her heart was gripped with the fear. She slowly crept back
to the only room left, their drawing room. She stood there, her eyes wide with
disbelief. Her darkest nightmare stands there. She stood their, in a trance…as
she watched her mother…lying there on the floor…covered in white clothes…her
face serene…as she is in deep slumber. She unconsciously walked to her…sat
beside her with great silence as if scared to wake her up…and she looked at her
beautiful face for what seems like an eternity. Last night was no dream…last v
has left her whole life feeling unreal. She stood up…gave one last look at her,
knowing she will not be able to gather enough courage to look at her again…and
she left with heavy steps…feeling like a dead.
She stood at her terrace…staring blankly at the empty space
ahead…bit and pieces of memories flashing like some movie teasers…but she felt
nothing inside. She turned back at the sound of steps…saw her father
standing…he has aged a decade overnight.
“chai banaati hoon”, she said without looking at her
father’s red swollen grief stricken eyes with her dry ones. Somehow she has not
been able to cry. She felt void, empty, and incapable of any emotion.
Sometime in the later part of
the day her grandparents came. The rest of the day passed in a blur…she was in
a trance…her body went through the necessary deeds but her mind registered
nothing. Her last memory had been of her mother’s calm face and she wanted it
to stay like that. Next she remembered someone suggesting her to drop her
boards…She had forgotten…she is 17 and she has her high school boards in three
months. She walked in to the room “I am going to appear in boards”, declared in
a calm decisive voice. Though she had no idea how…and she doesn’t really
remember anything else…even when they took away her mother…but she does
remember her sisters crying like banshees in pain…or her father looking like a
zombie…This was her worst nightmare…a nightmare that’s going to haunt her every
night.
Years passed…but for Ishika,
time had freeze a decade ago. She was a full fledged woman now…married with a
happy life…a satisfying job…she now have everything her mother wished for
her…but somehow it all felt fake…incomplete…and unimportant. It took her a
decade to gather courage to go back to the place that holds her mother’s last
memories. And now when she stands there, in front of the gate, it felt like she
has traveled back in time…and the memories flashed again…from the corner she
kept so securely locked till now. As she walked in through the gates she could
still hear the laughter…of her mother…her sisters…and her own. The house still
stands as it had back then…only dead. She walked in to the house to her
room…where her day would always began with her mom waking her up…she reminisced
her happy childhood there…then she walked back to her parent’s room, where it
all begun…where her world started crumbling.
She can never forget that
Saturday…when her mom was doubled over her stomach pain…and she sat
there…beside her…studying…in case she needs something. Her pain got worst and
she asked Ishika to cook khichdi for she was unable to get up. When she came
back from kitchen, she saw her mom in the bathroom vomiting mercilessly…and she
could see the foam coming out the sides of her mouth. She cursed herself for
not calling a doctor sooner. She, in a hurry, called her friend’s father, who
was a doctor. And after his medication, her mother fell asleep…And she sat
there watching over her. Never even once did she think it will come to this.
She moved her hands unconsciously over the edge of the bed her mom last slept
in…She remember her father shouting in distress while she was getting food for
them both. She threw the plates in despair and ran…and she saw the foam
dripping out of her mother’s mouth…She remembered doctors coming and
leaving…she remembered the stretchers and the IVs…and the vain attempts to take
her mother to the hospital….she remembered her scared little sister and her
father looking like a lost old man. Someone once said to her that being near to
the person you love a lot in their last time is a blessing…but for her it has
been a curse…a curse that never have and never will let her be in peace.
She then walked in to the
room where she had last seen her mother…so calm and quite…so free of all the
worries and life… and she remembered the doctor making the phone call…and she
remembered him saying, “I am sorry your daughter is no more”.
And she broke down…and
cried…cried for all the lost times…cried for her mother…cried to pray to grant
her relief from the shadows of the strangers in the night…strangers she once
loved…and still do…cried because she no more was capable of bearing the
pain…cried for her release and liberation.
Exit to the sunrise
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| Love find its way in to the hearts of who are meant to be together |
*********************************************************************************
"What? you cant do this.", Prakruti shouted at her mother
"Its already done Pari, so better not fight it. Your dad gave his words to the groom and his family. You are getting married as soon as possible"
"But ma I love someone"
"He is a history now for you, better live with it", her mom walked out of her room.
She stood dazed trying to grasp the events.
"Oh my God, they are getting me married to some unknown guy", she ran to call him...cried over phone as she told him the news.
"Get married", was all he said in a dead quite voice and the line went dead.
She sat there for a long hour staring at the wall like a numb.
went through the rituals...got married...angry and unhappy. She was determined to make her marriage a failure. She was angry to the point of being at fault. She was determined to turn blind to everything but her pain.
*********************************************************************************
Swikrit was shy and reserved. Just opposite of Prakruti...He never expressed. He grew up as the man of the house after he lost his father in an early age. life made him serious, quite and undemanding. He fell in love with her just by her picture. She looked so soft and lively. But now she looked angry. he understood she wasn't ready for this marriage so he gave her time, but in vain. He so desperately wanted to work this out but she seemed determined to spoil it. But she loved his family. He had seen her playing with his nephew and nieces. She was full of love but not for him. And he yearned for it. In time he did everything to win her love over but she was reluctant to yield to his efforts. Time passed. He tried letting her be but cared too much to do that. He only grew quieter and withdrawn. And she kept making it worse.
"I want a divorce", she said to him
He wasn't surprised yet it had hurt me in ways nothing had. She was so blind to his love for her. "if this is what pleases you". His tone reminded her of her love. For a moment she felt the ice melting in her but she checked herself in no time.
"I want to go to my home till then"
"I will drop you", he said in a tone that would haunt her forever, but she was determined.
As he pulled at her home his heart clenched. he felt like breaking down. She got out and he never once looked her way. She saw his knuckles turning white by holding the wheels too tight. He was trying to hold on. She could see he was suffering and that bothered her.
"Won't you come in?" she asked
"I won't be able to let you go then", that was the closest he came to confessing his love for her, closest to being romantic. She was surprised. For a moment he thought she will change her decision. But then she turned back and walked in. He drove away.
*********************************************************************************
He would always see her here and there and would crave for her.
"Shall I drop you somewhere?", he couldn't stop himself when he saw her struggling with so many packets at bus stop.
She was startled and was surprised more by the fact that she was indeed pleasured to see him. "No thanks"
"I know you can manage but with so much of crowd it will be tough for you to travel with so many packets".
She quietly put all the packets in the back and came around to sit. He looked tired and aged.
"Looks like you have been working too hard", she tried to make a conversation to escape the killing silence.
"yeah, have nothing else to do since you left", she was speechless and the silence prevailed.
This turned out to be a routine. He would always pick her up and drop her home. He never asked her reasons of spoiling her marriage. Never complained. But the conversation got better.
He would initiate the talk and would let her take over. He would look at her while she talked while she used to do with the guy she loved. She felt conscious but pleased. She started liking him as the time went by. And the never talked about divorce.
*********************************************************************************
!3 July 2011, she was on a leave from her office. She was surfing the channels when at one news channel the breaking news read "terror struck Mumbai, three blasts rocked Mumbai at Zaveri Bazar, Opera house and Dadar.
"Swikrit", she exhaled sharply. Ran for her phone, she frantically tried his number time and over again only to find unreachable. She called at his home.
"Beta he left for work at his usual time." She could hear the panic in his mother's voice. He worked in Dadar. "We will let you know once we hear any news of him".
She can't wait...she was desperate...she has to go look for him herself..she can't wait. She took her father's car and drove crazily. Mumbai looked no less than a madhouse. After 7 hours of her zealous desperate search she was able to locate him. He lay on the floor of a stuffed hospital....wrapped up in bandages...her heart skipped many beats...she crawled towards him...his eyes were closed...he din't seem like breathing...she was scared...to lose him...frightened she took her fingers to his nose...and felt a faint exhale of air...she cried in relief...wrapped her arms around him and cried...cried professing her love for him...cursing herself for being blind to his feelings and her own. She cried for long hours...and then she called at his home.
*********************************************************************************
He was better now..out of danger but still in hospital..She never left his side even for a minute...and he shyly confessed that it was one reason why he recovered quickly. He noticed the change in her but still had no idea about her feelings...he was happy, confused but happy. She was feeding him like she would have fed a nagging child, when there was a knock on the door. The lawyer peeped in with the papers. He felt sad..the good times have come to an end...lawyer ended him the divorce papers...and a pen..he stared at it blankly...trying to gather courage to sign it. Just when he thought there was a hope..the sun set and the night started hovering. He sighed and we as about to sign when Prakruti put her hand over his to stop him from signing. He was astonished. As he looked at her, he saw her holding a ring in her hand.
"Swikrit...I have fallen in love with you....and I am determined to start it all over again...will you marry me".
"You will have a price to pay", he said sternly.
If she was surprised she din't show..she knew it wasn't going to be easy but she was determined to do anything to make it work "Anything you say"
"You will have to stay in love with me like this forever"
And they both smiled.
"...And thereby hangs a tale-the idea- – my entry to the GetPublished contest’’
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| first kiss by Apple, courtesy macwallhd.com |
"..You are such a bitch...", she giggled on one side of phone, this was Vinita, Binny for me.
"Hahahaha...I will take that as a compliment babe", Said I, from the other side
"looks like I missed the entire point" said a male voice from the third line, Rudra. The third angle of our trio and the hero of the story.
No don't get me wrong this is not a love triangle...the story belongs to Rudra and Binny, me being the chorus of the story, the narrator. And no it is not an extract from the Jeffery Archer novel. This is a real love story of new India...this is my faith on love, the thread that sucks in air to the dying belief of love...A story that defines that love differs with people and places, that it need not have an ending, that walking out doesn't always mean infidelity. That it sometime could mean the survival of you, the one you love and love itself. That love once born remains immortal. There is no idea behind the story...it just happened...like every love story, but it never ended so unlike others.
All I want is everyone to read it... and realize the different picture of love. I want them all to feel the tenderness of it and that how forgiving and selfless love is when it is true. I want to remind the world of its immortality and how difficult it could be. Love is as platonic as physical because it relates to your soul and body both...unleashing the need and hunger in the way you never really have known. I am only motivated by the idea of letting everyone know that love could be like this...with a beginning but no end.
This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs fromYashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India.
The kiss
Long after their conversation was over...she still stayed in the balcony... marveling at how a stranger molded himself to be a part of her..not her life...or her dreams but her. Ohh!! how she loves him for the man he is..the way he makes her feel. Never in her life had she yearned for any man like she yearned for him now. The night grew deeper and quieter and she slipped in to the velvety memories of their first kiss.
She had known him for not too long...just as much she can count the months on her fingers...but he always gave her a feeling that they had known each other all their lives. He could read her mind, and she would always have the answer to his unasked questions. They were compatible, perfect together like a body and the soul...just unsure about who is who. Nobody could ever tell they know each other from some networking site. They loved each other's company and exchanged numbers. Suddenly their late night calls became their addiction... suddenly the became addicted to each other. She would always enjoy his swift flirting. Even before she knew she was in love. And one night on their regular late night calls she proposed him.
"I love you", she said.
He paused "I don't know what to say"
"Okay, I think its about time she must sleep", she said disappointed.
"Okay if you feel so"
"Goodnight"
"Goodnight"
And few seconds later the phone rang again
"I love you too", he said before she could even say hello
Her breath was stuck in her throat...she exhaled slowly and smiled...her first heart felt smile in ages..and so began their love story. It wasn't long before she had a chance to visit Delhi, his state.
"I want you to be the first person I see in Delhi", she said unable to contain her excitement.
"I will be there" he chimed
And the long long wait finally came to an end. Train arrived at Delhi station. In minutes she will be seeing her beloved for the first time...but he was late..a few minutes though but that seemed like a year. And finally she saw him...looking all around for her desperately...her guy...the man she is so head over heels in love with...everything else faded in the background...only he remained in her vision...And as he set her eyes on her..she slipped in to his arms for her hug of life...She was home...to her it felt like they have been meeting after a long era of separation. he put his arms around her as they made their way to the cab... to be on the way to her home...They slipped into the back seat...And they talked as the cab sped away to the destination...She put her head on his shoulders and it only felt natural...And suddenly he bend his head...touched her waiting lips with his wanting warm lips...and locked her in a kiss...their first.
*******************************************************************************
She sit across in the room with her novel...while he worked over his laptop. They have been married now for two years....and after a year when they were settled into their life and work..their romance had lost its fire...Not that they don't love each other now...just they don't express it much...the chapter in her novel took her back to the memories of their first kiss...And she felt the same longing for him now...yes the fire was still burning..it just needed some air to breathe. She put her novel down and looked at him..he wasn't an Adonis...but he was handsome in a very unconventional way...his face and demeanor has a captivating charm...he was too engrossed in his laptop to notice her. She got up and went in to the bathroom...few minutes later she came out with just a towel around her...water droplets sliding from her shoulders to her arms making a smooth track...drops from her wet hairs would vanish somewhere between the tempting lines below her neck...she could see she have his attention now...She digged into his used clothes and wore a flimsy white shirt...her top two buttons undone. Walked around to his table where he was working...he couldn't take his eyes away from her...She stood close to him...so close that he could smell her skin and feel the heat in spite of the cold shower she just took...the shirt was flimsy and wet...he could see she wasn't wearing anything underneath...he could see the two dark tempting spots on her swell...she ran a finger around his face...moved her one leg across his chair and sat on his lap astride...looked deep into his eyes...put her fingers into his hairs...pulled his face away a bit...bent her head to his...and put her warm lips over his stunned ones...for a long tantalizing kiss...of that of a lover.
bachelor-o-logy
"You are What???"
"Am coming to visit you"
"Am alright Mom"
"You don't want me to come?"
'Emotional blackmail' he thinks, "No mom, I so want you to come, but I hate the idea of putting you through so much of trouble". he says
"It's no trouble beta, you are my son"
"okay mom, am eagerly waiting for you. It will be fun. By the way when are you planning to come by".
"I have got my tickets done for 12th of next month"
His heart sank, that's just a fortnight away "okay mom, can't wait to have you here. Love you".
"love you too beta"
He sank in the mattress on the floor with an exasperated thud, letting the fact sink in. He gave his room a dejected stare."Damn so much has to be done and all in a fortnight", he muttered to himself. His clock sang 9 o'clock tale. "Crap am late for office". He half ran, half jumped, half kissed the floor, got ready, gulped his breakfast, half wore his shoes, picked the keys, forgot his helmet, locked the door, remembered he missed his helmet inside, opened the door, curesed himself, picked the helmet, locked the door and drove to office like shahrukhan drove the rickshaw in main hoon na.
Inspite of the breaking news of his moms arrival, the day started usually. Pragarbh is a 26 years old bachelor, from the beautiful state of assam, working and staying in Gurgaon. He stays with three other guys of his kind...belonging to different regions and working here. their wasn't a huge flat but a comfortable one. A hall a bathroom and a kitchen on the ground floor, and a set of stairs leading to two rooms with balcony and a bathroom upstairs.
Pragarbh logged into his system but couldn't concentrate on his work. All of them had been living a perfectly happy bachelor's life, he thought, less utensils and no fridge. Speaking of which he need to buy both. He had told his mom that they have a full fledged kitchen and a fridge. He made a mental note of all the lies that needed to be covered in next fifteen days. His day ended in a frenzy of both office and home.
"I have a news for all of you", declared Pragarbh
"So have I", said Vyom, his other room mate.
"My mom is coming in for a month's stay next month. In fifteen days that is", he said
"Oh shit, so are my mom and sister, just earlier, next week that is." bombed vyom.
They all stared at each other in desperate amazement and suddenly everyone burst in to laughter. "Man its going to be helluva month", said his another mate.
"Lets get to work". The third in the meanwhile went out to get their life saver alcohol and smoke, and the fourth got busy in arranging dinner while Vyom and Pragarbh discussed the game plan.
"We will have to say goodbye to these beloved ones for a while", sighed Pragarbh.
And they drank like there is no tomorrow...and made a to do list.
Buy fridge
Buy bedsheets and pilows and pillow covers
Buy missing utensils and food materials....and the list went on.
The clock sang 3 o'clock in the morning and all the four had been sleeping over their alcohol, half eaten dinner and the list.
The next day brought in the hefty-wefty schedule for them. Run to office, rush back home early, go shopping, finding things, arranging money they keep running short of. And night came. They have been sitting and talking when the phone started ringing. Pragarbh looked at the screen telling him its his girlfriend's call, he went to the balcony to take her call.
"I need to tell her that all this, That we might not be able to talk late nights", he said as he walked into the room.
"Shit I am going to have a tough time to keep her from talking to my mom and make her understand this", Vyom made a face as he said this and they laughed.
It took them a lot of hard work and fuss to finish the task, but they did.
The doomsday came and they went to station to receive Vyom's mom and sister. As he saw them he jumped up and down squeaking like a 5 year old child, and as pragtcharbh stood at a distance watching them embrace each other he realized no matter how much fuss he make to deny it, but he is actually looking forward to see his mother. In all this busy scheduled how has he missed motherly love and concern and someone to take care of him. He couldn't wait to see his mom now, as he walked towards Vyom to greet his family.
The shades of orange
This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 30; the thirtieth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
Its a sunrise, or a sunset
its hard to decide
a weekday, or a weekend
impossible to find
but why bother
why bother to what it is
a moment
from your life is this
Put your bare feet down
let the sea drench it a bit
set yourself free to the vast vast sky
make a castle
take a walk
think, admire, observe
forget your worries
shed your inhibitions
this is your life
you live it once
and you never can turn the wheels back
love it
watch it turn the hues
from dawn to dusk
into the shades of orange....
The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. I’m thankful to BLOGGER NAME, who introduced Blog-a-Ton to me, and I debuted in XX edition.
Credits
Image - Shades of Orange by Harsha Chittar
Courtesy - Curious Dino Photography via www.blogaton.in
To my Chums
...And when it all ends, I know
somehow you will still hold on to me
somehow you'll never let me go...
I have been told many-a-times that I remissness about my past a lot...and why not...i have beautiful memories...gifted by my friends...memories that are my strength...a place where I can hide and pretend that the world is still as beautiful as it used to be, when I was a child.
Primary school....the initial days...I don't have much memory of it...But I remember...playing chooha billi game in 3rd std. with friends...and I remember my first crush in std. 6...and I still feel the flutters of it in my heart, afresh. And we grew a little...girls boys thing got in the way...but what can inter fare between the hearts connected...our togetherness created beautiful memories...to cherish when we parted...to a new phase...a new feeling...to high school.
High school days can never be compared to any precious gem or metal...no gold...no diamond...no platinum..They are priceless...at least mine had been. The school campus, the building, the staircases, the passage, the classroom,and classroom mein shor machaate hum...its still vivid..each one of it.
I remember all the mastikhori we did...our school functions...sport's days...parent's nights..interschool trips...God... highschool had been fun...I still remember each faces of my class...especially of my best friends...Prem and Faraze...they were...and they remained...an integral part of my life...like two pillars....strong and reliable. usually i hear people cribbing about being back stabbed by their close friends...and by the ones they considered their best friends....it is then that I realize...and feel blessed to have them in my life...for almost over half of my life...i have trusted them blindfolded...and never...not even once have they disappointed me. We fought over nothing...and patched up in sooner than the soonest moment...And then we grew up.
I had a nice circle in college as well..in my grads and post grads...but no one I am still in touch with...we never made such connection again ever...guess that is what growing up is about..you lose, not only the innocence of childhood but also the strength of bonding...And at later stages..I met few strangers that grew to be good friends...ones those made me feel lucky...who loved me more than I deserved...stood strong in spite of all my rudeness and coldness.
And today..here...I want to tell them all that I love them...that to me they are treasures priceless. We have been crazy together...acted insane...drove people mad...fell in love with some one else...but you and me...kept it WE....guess that is what friends for...I am blessed, obliged and touched to have each one of you, I call my friend...each single one of you.
I LOVE YOU ALL
The biorhythm of an artist
He is just 6 months old...what pleases him most are the colorful little building blocks. Wherever he sees them..he cant resist crawling to them and throwing his hands like he is splashing the water...and he makes a very happy sound..baring his red soft swollen gums.
At 1..the only thing that inspires him to walk is those colorful blocks...it is like they put him to trance..they not only inspires him, but also grants him immense felicity.
At 3...he loves watching kids making castles at the beach.
At 6..if you want to find him..go at the beach..you'll find him making castles all over the shore...and that too with a concentration beyond imagination of us, grown ups.
At 16...his room is full of the beautiful architectures he made in past decade...homes...arcs..bridges.. skyscrapers..towers..everything you can think of...of unimaginable beauty.
At 19..he is studying science...to be a renowned doctor...to keep up the trend...like his grandfather..his father..uncles and elder brother.
At 22...he has no time to look at the structures he made...all he sees are formulas..scientific theories and human structure...but at times he stops and thinks about the castles...and then he will shrug off the sands away.
At 35...he is an apprised doctor...happily married...but discontent.
At 40...he has a child...of 4..who loves blocks as he did...but he never had time to take him to beach..or make castles..partly because he is busy...and partly because he feels guilty for not giving his passion a chance...or a fight.
At 64..he has everything a mortal could hope for..name...fame...wealth...family...but he don't have one thing that, he, as an immortal, as an artist, wanted..his art.
At 80..he took his grandson to the beach...he saw his delight as he jumped and squealed all over...finding a perfect spot to build his castle...the glint in his grandson's eyes, when he found the spot, gave him the peace he always lacked. he saw him struggling and tried to help...tried to make the castle he once loved making, more than loved infact...his hands shook...sand din't turn to castle..he sat devastated...a tear rolled down on his cheeks...a lone tear of regret.
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